A thoughtful discussion about parenting, living simply and enjoying all the sparkling crystals that surround us, while always truly understanding the hole in the center.
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A friend of mine on Facebook just posted this quote and it really struck a chord with me as it described the shift has been taking place in our family over the past few years.
"It's more important to parent the children I have than to parent in order to get the children I want." - Diana Jenner
I look at this and see what it is that has (in the past) caused tension between me and my children--that is, my fear that if they don't do what I ask, they will turn out "badly" (whatever that may mean). I hadn't been taking the time to see who they are here and now...I had been trying to train them for some future goal. And now that I avoid that kind of thinking (and have for a while now), I can look back and see where the fear was ruling my parenting. I can see how far we have come and how much we value the relationship we have with our kids. I wouldn't trade my life with them for anything! I like that I'm at a point where I can take a deep breath and trust my child. Trust that building a certain thing out of legos is important at that moment; trust that not putting a hat on this one time won't hurt anyone; trust that they will learn what they need to know without me forcing it on them; trust that they will grow up to be the wonderful human beings they already are...only bigger.
I'm a breastfeeding, cloth diapering, gentle discipline practicing, homeschooling, vegetarian, babylost mama of 5 wonderful children (four here on Earth and one in the stars). All of this makes me, at times, pretty firm in my beliefs. Perhaps I should apologize for that now....