Terrific Two!

I hate the Terrible Twos.  No, that's not right.  I hate that people think there is even such thing as the Terrible Twos.  Two-year-olds happen to be among the most incredible, funny, enjoyable, wonderful, emotional, happy, loving creatures on Earth.  I can't imagine ever NOT loving every minute of this time!  Yes, I even love those tantrums--oh those tantrums!  I feel so sad for my little kiddo who has come across some limit in life that cannot be explained well enough to soothe and is felt so deeply and harshly.  The tantrums remind me how much my little one is growing and learning and how I just need to guide, hold, cuddle, and love to the ends of the world.

I didn't get to enjoy Erin being two.  When she was two, we had this new little bundle of colic enter our life, we had just moved, and life was completely overwhelming me.  (Looking back, it seems funny to be overwhelmed by two kids, but at the time, I was just getting through the days.)  I have some cute video of Erin being two, but I don't remember it as well as I would like to and I know I didn't fully enjoy it as much as I could have.  Screaming newborns will do that to you.

I have very little memory of Megan being two.  When she was two, we had just lost Sophie.  I spent a lot of her second year fighting for my physical health and then fighting depression, struggling under the weight of grief so deep few people ventured in to help us.  Megan got a whole year at home with just me (Erin was at a Montessori school at the time), and I was not the mother I should have been for that little girl.  So while I regret the lack of memories of Erin being two, I still feel so so so so so much guilt for the lost time with Megan.  It is hard for me to talk about this lost year--for so many reasons.

Evan being two was amazing.  Chris and I marveled time and time again how much we loved having a two-year-old.  We lived and breathed the whole thing, noting over and over how it took us 4 kids to get a 2yo!  He language skills, his independence, his absolute love for anything his sisters did.  Amazing.  A 2yo's antics never stop and are filled with so much love and good will.  Truly incredible!!

And so here we are--on the eve of our final 2nd birthday.  As Jordan embarks on the journey from 2 to 3, we know she will bring as much love and joy to our family as each of her siblings has.  And me?  I'm ready for the ride.  I will do whatever I can to savor each moment, video/photograph what I can, snuggle up close whenever the moment presents itself, and just love the heck out of this little girl.  I can't wait!

Baseball season is over? NOT!

And for those of you who think I'm exaggerating or otherwise stretching the truth about my son living baseball EVERY SINGLE SECOND of his day, here is a picture from yesterday's hike. Note the batting helmet, the cap and glove tucked in his backpack, and the bat in his left hand. 

LOVE IT!

The Whole Story

It is very difficult to to describe something that is indescribable!  This post is my attempt to do just that.  To start from the beginning, Evan likes baseball.  Scratch that--Evan LOVES baseball.  Scratch that--Evan is COMPLETELY, TOTALLY and OVER-THE-TOP OBSESSED with baseball.  Wow...even that doesn't seem strong enough.  Evan lives and breathes baseball.  He has read every book our library has (fiction, non-fiction, biography, autobiography, you name it!).  He has read every book our town librarians are able to get their hands on from other libraries.  He has seen videos on the life and times of his favorite players and he has seen both videos made after the Red Sox (obviously his favorite team) won the World Series in 2004 and 2007.  (He is anxiously awaiting the no-doubt coming video on this year's win.)  All season, he would fall asleep listening to the Rex Sox games on the radio and wake in the morning to run to the computer and watch highlights streamed on-line.  He spends TONS of time every day throwing, sliding, hitting, begging someone to pitch to him (just one more time!), and practicing his base running and stealing.  He knows more about the sport and the players than any 4yo should know...but that is his love, his passion and it brings him so, so, so, so much joy.

Last week, his Grammy emailed us with a possible chance to take part in a batting practice session at Fenway Park.  He could have one go-round...10 balls to swing at.  I asked Evan if he wanted to do it.  I had to explain that it would be off a pitching machine (which he has never faced before) and that they may not be able to set it down low enough for his small strike zone.  I wanted to make sure he understood, before we got there, that it was entirely possible he would swing 10 times and miss 10 times.  This wasn't like playing with Grampy or Daddy (who would never end on a miss!) and that he would get 10 swings and then it would be the next batter's turn.  He didn't hesitate.  "But Mom," he said, "I could swing and miss 10 times AT FENWAY PARK!  I would be standing at HOME PLATE, AT FENWAY PARK!  Of COURSE I want to do it!!"  Thus, I began working out the arrangements.

Meanwhile, in an attempt to get him at least SOME time in front of a pitching machine before the big day, I called a few places that have batting cages in our area.  They are all closed for the season. Just on the off-chance something cool would happen, I called the head baseball coach at UMaine.  I fully expected his Administrative Assistant to calmly take a message and never get a response.  Amazingly, not only did the Head Coach answer the phone, he invited us over to use their $40,000 pitching simulator! They set it as slow as they could and as low as they could and Evan loved every minute of trying to hit 40mph "fast" balls that went over his head a bit. By the end of the morning, he was hitting a few of them.  He was feeling ready for today.  

This is where it simply becomes impossible for me to describe the joy he was feeling as he stepped onto the field.  The man doing the announcing asked him what number and position he wanted announced.  Evan thought for a minute, "Number 29, Left Field"  (Daniel Nava).  He carefully tried on batting helmets and weighed different bats, choosing the one he thought was the lightest and, he said, had the best grip.

"Now batting, number 29, left field, EVAN GERBI!"

I won't give you the play-by-play.  Suffice to say, on the 5th pitch, we all heard the crack of the bat and watched as the ball soared out of the batting cage and right down the middle of the field.  Did it hit the Green Monster?  No.  Did it go past the infield?  No.  Did it go that far at all?  Not really.  We are talking about a 35-pound 4yo swinging a too-heavy bat against a 45mph hard ball.  The physics of the situation are pretty obvious!  Did it wow the crowd and move his mother (and Grandmother, I must say!) to tears?  YES!  Will it be remembered for a long, long time?  The answer to that is clear. 
 

Waiting his turn!
 

He's UP!!

You have to be a Fenway Fan to understand this photo, but that is my little guy up on the big screen!  The one under the John Hancock sign!  Look!  He's famous!
 

Car ride on the way home...he may be a big time hitter, but he's still just 4!  It was a lot of excitement for one day!

Update!

I really have been neglecting this blog lately! We have been doing so much and I'm just trying to keep up with life these days. I have a photo book I have to finish for our portfolio review in a few weeks, the kids are doing a ton of activities, and with summer happening, things are just very busy and fun! Here are a few photos of our latest adventure in Seattle:

Top of the Space Needle

Cousins at a waterfall in the Cascades

Touching the Pacific Ocean for the first time!

Tide Pooling in the Pacific--HUGE sea stars!

Hiking in the Rainforest

Whale Watching around the San Juan Islands--AMAZING!

The other news in our family is Megan and her gymnastics.  She has worked very hard this year and is doing amazing stuff!  A few weeks ago, Megan had her first ever gymnastics meet and did really well.  She has been invited to join the team this summer--her crazy-busy schedule seems to be working for her!  We'll see how it all goes in the fall!

Megan Turned 8...last month.

I am the worst Mommy in the whole world...here it is June 3rd already and I never posted a birthday post for Megan.  Oh! my little Goose is growing up too fast!  Megan's past year has been completely defined by gymnastics.  While it took us some time to appreciate that her requests for lessons were born from true desire (as opposed to just wanting to be with her friend), we finally got her signed up.  She started at Level 1...she was in that for about 20 minutes.  She was moved to Level 2 almost immediately and was in that class for about a week while they waited for an opening in the Level 3 class.  When she switched from one gym to another, she found her groove.  Level 3 lasted a few months until she (and her best friend) were asked to join PreTeam.  That is where she is now, anxiously finishing up the last few practices of this session to see who makes it to Team.  She is very, very close and working hard.  We'll see what happens!

Obviously it doesn't matter what happens in the world of gymnastics--she will always be my Goose.  Happy (very belated) Birthday to the newly crowned 8-year-old who brings so much joy to our family and to everyone she meets.  We love you, Megan!

(This is a picture of the baby goose we saw in Seattle--so not MY goose, but cute nonetheless!)

Connection

A teenager from the town next to ours disappeared last week.  This week they found her body, and a young man who lives in my town has been charged with her murder.  Near as anyone here can figure out, she was seeing this guy or they were FB friends or something like that.  It seems he may have been a predator, but details are sketchy and I prefer not to jump to any conclusions before this man has had his day in court.  But I digress.  What is my real reason for writing something now?  Connection.

Yesterday, our local newspaper printed an article to remember the victim.  There were several things in it that struck me.  First, clearly this young woman was considered a "typical" teen.  She loved school because she could hang out with her friends and she was, apparently, constantly connected to her cell phone so she could be talking and texting with her friends at all times.  The article even mentioned how she had a hard time this past summer on a two week wilderness trip with her family because of the lack of cell phone connection and her inability to text.  There was nothing, NOTHING in this article that our modern society would deem inappropriate for a kid her age.  And that, my friends, THAT is the problem.  As a society, we have become so disconnected from our children that the only things they have left to connect with are their peers.  We consider this normal behavior, but in many other societies, it is not!  Kids don't naturally connect to peers, they naturally connect to parents and caregivers.  How have we pushed our children so far away from us that we think it is normal for a kid to not enjoy two weeks with their family because they didn't have a cell phone connection?  Think about this--instead of telling her parents or other trusted member of her community or family that she was FB friends with this new, older guy, she was telling her friends.  Instead of someone with more experience telling her to be careful and that maybe this wasn't a good idea, she had kids her own age telling her, "Oh, cool!  He's cute!"  Believe me, I'm NOT blaming the victim for being naive (perhaps she wasn't) and I'm not blaming her parents for being absent (perhaps they weren't).  Again, details are sketchy and I'm not jumping to conclusions.  What I am doing, however, is blaming SOCIETY for not recognizing what we are doing to children!  

As a whole, we have a very sick society--and yes, these murders and acts of violence (marathon bombs, school shootings) are relatively rare.  Really, they are. HOWEVER, while the acts of violence are rare, children with anxiety disorders, OCD, ADD, ADHD, obesity, diabetes...these things are not rare.  We are a very sick society and the younger generation is getting sicker.  Much of these problems can be directly linked to how we treat our kids and the way we force disconnection on them because society says we have to.  (Ask yourself, honestly, why do your kids go to school?  Is it because you truly think it is what is best for them?)  We need to understand that this isn't about tough love or forcing kids to obey and all will be well.  This is about completely changing how we treat the youngest and most vulnerable section of our society.  We MUST begin to connect with these kids.  Get them out of school if that isn't good for them.  Find them alternatives to school and day care and, instead, let them play outside and learn and follow their passions.  We need to let them be who they are with an adult beside them to support, nurture and fuel their desires (as opposed to an adult telling them what to do every day).  It is about letting kids play in multi-age situations and learn from all kinds of people; older kids, younger kids, adults, etc.  It is about telling a child that they are worthwhile, no matter what they are feeling in a given moment.  Until we change the way we approach children in our society, we can continue to expect them to grow up disconnected and confused.  We can expect them to make mistakes from which there is little ability to recover.  We can expect mental illness, obesity, and depression.  We can expect rare acts of violence to become more common and for us, as a society, to simply shake our heads and wonder what went wrong.  I'm telling you here what is wrong.  We are lacking a connection and we think it is normal.  We think it is the way it is supposed to be!  It isn't.  There is another way.  [Getting off soapbox now....]

The curriculum question

Last week, I went to a housewarming party and got to hang out with a bunch of our neighbors as we welcomed a new neighbor to the area.  One of our neighbors, who lives across the street from us, is a wonderfully kind gentleman who has been very supportive of Erin's Death Star Bottle Drive, loves watching my kids play outside, and is often invited to partake in our crazy science experiments that usually involve blowing stuff up.  Last night, as we were talking, he asked me what curriculum I used with the kids and wondered how I managed to adjust it to meet the needs of all the different ages I'm trying to teach at home.  It is one of those questions that I have come to both dread and thoroughly enjoy.  It becomes a dread question when I know the person I'm talking to comes at the idea of homeschooling from a very old-school perspective.  They want to hear how my school-at-home is going, what subjects we cover, what prepared, boxed curriculum I use, and how do I test my children's mastery of each subject.   These conversations can be challenging, to say the least.  However, if the person I'm talking to is clearly open to the idea of unschooling, we might get into a fantastic conversation about how kids learn and the value of play and connection.  But, of course, when someone just asks a question like that, I'm not sure how to answer.  So, last night, I took a deep breath and explained to him that I really didn't use a curriculum and that I adjusted the subject matter to whichever kid had an interest in that subject.  His response?  I'm just wondering what you use because your kids are so utterly amazing and bubbly and wonderful!  Whatever you are doing, you should do more of it!  (Phew!  Off the hook!)

Here's the truth.  Kids learn about life by living life. They learn about loving by being loved.  They learn about respect by being respected.  Nothing in the whole world is so utterly simple and so incredibly challenging as trusting a child to do what they need to do.  This trust is the root of everything we do with our kids.  I wish I could say I'm perfect at it--that I have let go of all desire to control my kids and that we meet each other's needs as a family in harmony everyday...but I would be lying.  The truth is that we are a large family and we fight, we get sick, we get tired, we get on each other's nerves.  I find, however, that because we base everything we do on this deep rooted trust in our children, we are pretty quick to find forgiveness, patience, love, laughter, play, pretend, joy, adventure, games...you know, the good stuff.  Chris and I are letting go a little more each day, digging a little deeper into the partnership paradigm with our children.  Yes, we were both raised differently and yes, we turned out pretty well (if I do say so myself!), but there is something to be said for Gandhi's challenge to be the change you wish to see in the world.  If I want a world of freedom and joy, I must provide that for my children.  Along the way they will learn their multiplication tables (if they want to) and they will learn the difference between your and you're (because they WILL want to learn that!).  How do I know this?  I trust them.  The challenge for us is to be the change we wish to see in our children.  We are still working on that.