Homeschooling

People ask me all the time why we are homeschooling. Of course I have a ton of reasons that I could get into in great detail, but the simple reason is that homeschooling is the best fit for my family right now. I love what we are doing and I wouldn't have it any other way. Of course the bonus is that my child gets to do things that most schools would never allow her to do (probably with good reason!) Here is my 7-year-old using a power sander. Hey, you gotta learn some time, right?? I love this shot and I love that she is wearing her homeschooling shirt. Wake up, start learning--that's what homeschooling is all about.

Karen To The Rescue!

I know I've written about her before, but I have this friend, Karen. In addition to being my bestest parenting friend and confidant, she is also a Master Gardener--very useful for someone like me, with the absolute opposite of a "green thumb." Anyway, when Sophie died, we put in a garden for her--simple, a tree, a stone with a plaque, some flowers and, that fall, a handful of bulbs. Now, three years later, the phlox have completely taken over, filling over half of the space, the strawberries that I had thrown in so the girls would have something "from" their sister are completely covering the back half, and if someone had told me what a handful of forget-me-not seeds would do...well, I probably still would have put them in, but at least I would have been warned! Anyway, add to all that the fact that I couldn't really tell the weeds apart from some of the plants (I told you, I'm not a gardener!) and the fact that we have lots of clover on our lawn, and you can imagine what the garden looks like now.

Until today. When I went down to Augusta to attend a homeschool used curriculum sale, I met up with Karen for lunch as well. In her car, she had dozens of beautiful plants along with, I kid you not, two incredibly detailed drawings of Sophie's garden and the front of our house. The location of each plant was labeled so that even I could figure out where each thing went! I got home that afternoon and grabbed a shovel. Standing in Sophie's garden, I hesitated...what if I screwed it up? What if the phlox never bloomed again? What if moving all the bulbs around killed them and I never had color here again? What if I killed all the wonderful things Karen gave me? In the garden, shovel in hand, I called Karen. With the patience of a saint, she assured me I wasn't going to mess it up and even if I did, plants in general and bulbs specifically, are very forgiving. So I did it. We did it. Chris and I dug up virtually everything. We put bulbs around her plaque, moved all the strawberries to a different garden, planted a few annuals, and put in coral bells, hostas, and irises. We moved a few things I can't ID (but there are a lot of them in the garden!) and pulled out all the forget-me-nots (those I'm sure will come back again in the spring!).

Even better, we did all this in the pouring rain. Very fun. As we were digging, of course, Evan was getting soaked and muddy, Megan (wearing a princess dress) was riding up and down the driveway on her bike, going through puddles as fast as she could and Erin was fully enjoying her new Latin Dictionary by shouting words out the window to see if we knew what they were (not really!). What the neighbors must think, I can't even imagine!

Here is the new and improved garden.

I know it doesn't loot like much, but believe me, it will. Oh, and if you know what this is:
...let me know. I have a bunch of them and I'm not sure what to do with them all.

Thank you, Karen!

Free Time

Today I had some time to myself while Evan slept and the girls were at various activities. It was awesome...know what I did? I cleaned their room. Now, many of you probably wouldn't want to do that with so-called "free" time...but it is refreshing to me. I love simplifying their lives and making it easier for them to play in that space. I want their toys in reach and I don't like it when they get so overwhelmed with "stuff" that it is hard to find the favorites. I usually do this once or twice a year and they hardly, if ever, notice the stuff I have taken away. While many see this as significantly limiting their choices, I see it as giving them opportunities to more fully explore the choices they do have. They will tell you that they notice a sense of peace in their room and they notice the space to do Legos or Lincoln Logs or whatever. It calms them. Plus now Megan has her own Meditation Area, which she has wanted since reading the book Peaceful Piggies." I'm happy to give it to her.

I would post a picture, but my father broke my camera...are you reading this, Dad?? We need a new camera!

Great Post

Check out this post:

http://www.glowinthewoods.com/home/2010/5/21/dear-friend.html

Poor Little Guy!

So Evan had rotovirus. Yuck. It started innocently enough--but, just as we were leaving for FL, it got worse. Now, if we had been planning a weekend away, I would have told Chris to go ahead with the girls and I would stay home with the sicko. But no, Chris was going to a conference and I was getting on a plane with two girls and a little boy who was blowing out of diapers like nobody's business. I figured when we got there, he would surely get better and I wouldn't have to worry about it. We got there on Saturday and that night he blew out of two diapers and vomited twice. On me. On Sunday he was a little better and I thought we would be okay for our hugely anticipated trip to Disney the next day (we had reservations for dinner with Cinderella--there was no way Megan was going to miss that!) He was fine for the day, but that night at the hotel, you guessed it...puke-o. So the next day when we got back to my mother's house, I weighed him. He had lost three pounds and was on his 6th day of eating nothing but breastmilk. He wasn't peeing a lot (hardly at all) and now the weight loss. I got very nervous and took him to the walk-in clinic at the local ER. Big mistake.

There, I met by far the worst doctor I have EVER dealt with. Unreal! He walked in and I was sitting there nursing Evan. He said, (with a HUGE air of superiority!) "Your child has diarrhea and you are giving him milk??" I responded, "Well, yes...it is the only thing he has eaten in 6 days, really. He refuses everything we offer."

"Milk is the worst thing you can give a child with an upset digestive tract."

"It is breastmilk!"

"It is basically the same thing!"

"Um...no, it isn't--"

"You listen to me!" (he interrupted) "Is this your first child??"

"Um, no, he isn't..."

"Well then you should know this!"

At this point in the "conversation" I stopped listening. Because when I asked him to double check that there wasn't something stuck in Evan's stomach or perhaps check for some rare intestinal cancer, he told me that there was clearly nothing wrong with him because, "he looks too good." Okay...so you are telling me that my child has a virus and I'm supposed to stop nursing him even though by your own admission, he looks good. When I told him about the weight loss, he said it was all water and that I had to get him hydrated. He suggested pedialyte. When I said Evan won't touch it, he said, "Of course not, you keep nursing him. Stop nursing and wait until he is desperate enough to drink anything." (So you want me to let my sick child scream it out until he desperately grabs for a drink that tastes like sea water??...sure...that won't undermine any trust my child has in me at all--yeah.)

So anyway, after that we left and I had tears of anger in my eyes for a long time after we got home. You've seen those cartoons where smoke comes out of the ears? It was happening to me! I'm in the process of writing a letter to the hospital about the experience--because not only was I treated like the dumbest mother on the planet, but I was told something that was so wrong, it could do serious harm to future patients! I mean, what if I was a first-time mom? What if I went in there with my sick 9-month-old and I was told, in no uncertain terms, that I had to stop nursing until my child was so desperate for liquid they would literally drink anything?? What if I was that uncertain mother who truly wanted to do what was best for her child and actually trusted this doctor to tell me?

Luckily, I'm not that mother and, once it was a confirmed virus and not that rare intestinal cancer I had started to worry about, I took my little guy home and nursed him as much as he wanted. The virus lasted about two more days and he has since popped out of it like a champ. He hasn't stopped eating for the past 3 days and has gained back all the weight he lost and then some.

And the hospital in Dade City is about to get an earful--because I can't imagine someone else having to endure that...or worse yet, actually trusting that.

Fun Post

I just wanted to send a quick Thank You to my wonderful sister-in-law who has continued to bless us with fantastic gifts. The list of what she has brought into our house is amazing--feather boas that leave their little pink feathers everywhere, arts and craft supplies that you wouldn't believe, glitter glue, tissue paper, puff balls, paint, scraps of fabric, more glitter glue, and, the best ever, another feather boa, darker pink...also that leaves feathers everywhere. But what to get Evan? I mean really...what could she possibly get him that would top a flaming pink feather boa? Oh...I know! A DRUM! Better yet, a TIN drum with balls that roll around inside it and sticks to bang on with! YEEE HAW!


And because of this, he is probably the happiest boy you have seen in a long, long time! Because his Auntie Melissa is trying to do nothing else but bring joy to my children. And believe me, she has brought a lot of that (did I mention the glitter glue??)!

And me? I will continue to buy stock in the Advil company and be thankful beyond words that my children have their Auntie Melissa to get them the things that I never, ever would. Because a girl needs a boa and a boy needs a drum--really. Thank you, Melissa...and be sure to let us know when you have stopped moving around from house to house and country to country, because Molly is growing up fast and I have a few gift ideas of my own!

Happy Birthday Willows

I've had a lot of "depressing" things on my blog lately, not the least of which was Thursday's birthday wish to my friend to my friend Carol on her stillborn daughter's 7th birthday. And today I have another one...today is Willows' birthday. He would be three today, had he lived. But, 28 minutes after he was born into this world, he passed away in the loving arms of his mother, one of my dearest friends, Laura.

But know what? If she had to do it again? She would...in a heartbeat. (How can you say that? you ask...the saddest day of her life and she would do it again??) Yes, she would. Because in addition to that day being the day she got to hold him and talk to him, you need to know that in those 28 minutes he was living, he taught her a mother's love. He taught her what it was like to birth a piece of your heart and hold it outside your body, for as long as you might have to hold it (and really, none of us knows how long we have to hold our children). This lesson that he taught her, this love that cannot be described, she is now able to pass on to Willows' little sister, born so wonderfully alive last year and now toddling around with the same beautiful pouty lips as her brother. Do it again? Yeah, she would.

So as hard as it is to live in this world that I live in, where I know so many people who have lost a piece of their hearts, there are moments when you just have to know that all of us, all of us who live with this missing piece, are going to make it. We are going to take the lessons we have learned and use them as we continue down this path of living with grief. I know that Laura and Carol will never know how they would have mothered their first child or how their losses have changed their mothering, but I do know that, watching them now, they are incredible parents, not taking a single thing for granted. Now, I know many parents want to be able to say that about their little ones, that they don't take anything for granted...but these moms? These moms know, really, really, know what they have. And they are not going to waste a second.

Happy Birthday, dear Willows. Thank you for what you have brought to your family, and mine. And Laura (and Erik and Wynn!)--your strength never ceases to amaze me. I'm so glad you have come into our lives!